crystal drop___

Sunday, June 04, 2006

after 164 posts of tears and mirth, i've reached the 165th post today. (: it's a bittersweet feeling, actually, especially when it's come to the point where you bid something so close to your heart goodbye. yeaps, this is my last post here. im bidding this wonderful blog of mine goodbye, after 2 and a 1/2 years of heartfelt entries. why? probably because it's time to let go and say goodbye, to put things behind and start anew. (: and that is why i chose to set up a new blog. hahas. yeaps, i've moved. but i'll come back here, probably rather often, i guess. after all, this blog contains my memories, and i cant bear to let them just slip out of my hands. just to look back at them with fondness. and so, i'll see all of you at my new blog yea? (: love you all!

rainbow visions.*.*....

Friday, June 02, 2006

hahas. just spent 2 hours or so typing my blog entry in my other blog. those who know my other blog can go read it. hahaha.

rainbow visions.*.*....

Thursday, June 01, 2006

goodbye, goodbye,
as the simple farewell goes
that sweet little wave
that shy, repressed smile
alas, it is time for one to go.

the choices one makes
the chances one takes
amidst all of life's happiness glows,
along the meandering red-rustic gold,
a twinkle and sprinkle
of the patterned bluebell grove

rich, lush meadow green
a vast expanse of the misted screen
where human minds
no longer befuddled,
can live and let live
from the huge muddy puddle

a slight turning
in the woody aisle
black silhouette in the little neat pile
of words and tongues,
of spirited flights
wonder in wonder the beauty of the night

soft footsteps and whisperings
surround in dreams
fluttering wings
beating softly,
surreal and impressionistic
floating and free

the gurgle of delight
in the cool clear water
slight drizzles in refreshment
with lemondrops and mint
free-form though not atonal in nature
ending the dance in cadential perfection

rainbow visions.*.*....

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

have you ever wondered? how the human mind functions?

sometimes thoughts like these just creep into my head. it's just like me smiling whenever i see someone, yet feeling sad whenever i see another. it's kind of amazing and intriguing, how my mind functions. so many emotions and thoughts running through it, yet not all can be deciphered and understood. it's just like solving a code, hahas it sounds corny, but yes, a code, which one might not even know what to make of it.

there are times when we all experience bouts of sadness, and depression sets in, tempting us to crawl into our hole and fill it up, sinking forever into that deep pit of misery, yet on other days, we rush into euphoria and dashes of madness, flouncing and bouncing about undecidedly, just for the fun of it. it's highly amusing, this behaviour we exhibit, isn't it? human minds are complex, i guess. we can hardly guess what we are thinking, why we are behaving in one manner and how we have arrived to whatever conclusion we have come to. and that's just trying to decipher ourselves alone. that's why i sometimes believe that we can never understand ourselves fully, nor can we understand others. because we cannot even manage our own thoughts - how do we go on to other people? that would just be silly, wouldn't it?

yet, humans are somehow made as social animals. no man is an island. we all need company to survive. it would be highly antagonizing for one to spend a lifetime in solitary confinement, whereby access to any other form of human companionship is denied. i believe many of us would go mad. hence, there is this innermost desire for us to have friends. friends that we feel we can trust, friends that go on outings together, friends that act as listening ears when one is down and out. we love these friends so much that we might not think twice about sacrificing our own time and effort to help our friends by doing favours for them. we confide in these people, believing in their wisdom and ability to help us to solve our problems. but again, nothing in this world is perfect. somehow, everything is flawed. even the most beautiful snowdrop has a blemish on it, the prettiest flower would have a wilting leaf somewhere. nothing exists without being imperfect.so do our friends. these wonderful people which our world revolves around have their shortcomings too. they may be impatient, short-tempered, insensitive, cold, indifferent, haughty, short, fat, ugly, etc. yet, we still love them. what's more, we think the world of them.

why?

because, they, no matter what they have done, are still our friends. friends, as cliched as it sounds, are there for us no matter what happens, come sunshine or rain, joy or pain. they are there to help us, to comfort us, to console us, to rejoice with us, to celebrate with us, to laugh with us, to cry and sob with us. it's a kind of emotional dependency, i guess, as we all need pillars of strength to lean on whatever the occasion is. what is joy if there is no one to share it with? what is sorrow if you bear it all alone?and friends accept us as we are, just as we accept them as they are. true, it might take time for us to get used to each other and to acknowledge one another's faults and changes as we grow through the years, but we do accept and smile at them. because, somehow, we see those very traits in us too. afterall, we are fellow humans. we live on the same diet of family and friends. we breathe in the same air of emotions and feelings. and we need the same opportunities to succeed. we are, in fact, more alike than we thought.and it is through all these adversities that we bond, and we learn, and we grow, physically, emotionally, and psychologically. we may end up being scarred in the process, but it is through the same experiences that we learn to stand on our own two feet. we fall, that's why we learn. and there might be disappointments along the way, how some leave and some turn their backs. perhaps they had their reasons. but whatever it is, we do admit that we become wiser after every ugly experience. and we warn others of our predicament. or perhaps, we sympathise with our friend who went away and hope for the day of his or her return. it works both ways, depending on how you look at it.

and as our lives branch out into the many tributaries, we twist and turn into the various rivers and streams, sometimes forgetting where we came from. we may have promised each other to keep in touch, go out often and do stuff together as before. yet, as life leads us on our different paths, we tend to get caught up in the hectic timetable of the choices we make. slowly, we drift apart, unknowingly. it's inevitable, perhaps, because life's like that. and probably due to that, we must all cherish everything in our lives, even more.

rainbow visions.*.*....

心，

是一个奇妙的东西，

有的是感觉

有的是思想

有的是希望，

给人类一种无可取代的活力。

如

清澈见底的溪水

从不停止地流着

想法与美梦，

也会一直存在的，

并肩地流浪在世界尽头。

ps. if you can't see the above entry, go to view at the top and change the encoding to unicode. yupps.

rainbow visions.*.*....

Friday, May 26, 2006

hahas. back from pumpfest! first time at a bouldering comp, and of course, i didn't expect much. it's just for exposure. hahas. just hoped that i'd be able to pull myself up from the starting handhold marked in green. that's all. it'd be good if i could reach and hold the second handhold. it'd be better if i could somehow pull myself up from there. it'd be a bonus if i could reach the bonus handhold marked in yellow. hahas. my bouldering's that lousy. ahhahas. but then! there's still time! so im going to try to go for rockclimbing more often. heehee.

was very nervous. i bet i made many stupid mistakes. and anyway, i reached for the second handhold once, on the first wall. yayayayayayay!! hahahas. im so happy. but then, that was it. couldn do it again. ): cuz i dropped after clutching the second handhold becuz i had no idea where to go next and my hands slipped. hahas. and that was my accomplishment of the day. LOLOL. go ahead laugh at me. ahhahaa. cuz im laughing at myself too. for the rest of the three walls, the best i got to was pulling myself up and brushing/touching the second handhold before coming down. ahaha. at least the rest did better. peiling swan jiajia rachel ng all reached at least one bonus tile i tink. and im sure audrey scaled at least one wall. ohwells.

acty i was quite happy with myself. although i knew i was like, supersuper lousy. hahaha. xiaoxian advised me on how to hold the starting handhold for the fourth routine, stairway to heaven. then i told peiling i was quite happy. peiling said she was quite sad. and louis, who overheard us, said that we [i tink he was referring more to me] should be disappointed, becuz that was not the best we could do. xiaoxian modified it and said that we should be disappointed yet happy becuz we did not do our best, but we tried our best at that time. or sth to the effect. and now, when i tink back, yea. i guess i did not do my best. boo. so much for feeling happy. ahhahahs.

alright. tmr's my grandfather's birthday. heehee. looking forward to a good lunch. just hope that the lactic acid would dispel and not build up in my arms or legs cuz i always forget to stretch to dispel them after rockclimbing rarrh !

anyway. pumpfest was fun. i enjoyed it. seriously. i should workharder so i can do better next time! (:

rainbow visions.*.*....

Thursday, May 25, 2006

vj soccer won mj soccer 4-2!!!

hahas. yea. it was a cool game. ahhahas. my heart really went up and down with the ball. mj are worthy opponents. really. lol.

during the first half, all of us were filled with excitement, enthusiasm and anticipation. rain though it did, the weather got better and soon the siglap vs hong kah sec finals were on. and then, it was our turn. vj vs mj. the match.

the first half saw an intense fight between the teams, and suddenly, mj scored. 1-0. we were shocked. but we continued to cheer and support the vj team. and u could see the surprise and tinge of disappointment on their faces, esp mr tan yew hwee. he was, agitated, of course. and so, the game went on, us being on the edge of our seats, literally, for me. hahaha. in fact, we were rather upset when so many mjcians had their legs sprained or muscles pulled or something, supposedly, i guess, and lay on the ground groaning and not getting up, taking their time to walk off the pitch, limping, yet being able to stand and walk properly after the substitute went in. and so the first half ended, 1-0 in mj's favour.

the soccer guys gathered on the field, sitting down, listening to tan yew hwee talking, perhaps scolding or yelling, encouraging and telling them stuff, what to do. you could literally see the intense disappointment and concentration on their faces. meanwhile, the mj soccer guys were busy on the other side of the field, kicking a few balls and getting the feel of it. and the second half started.

vj supporters all stood up now - it was crucial for us to give all our support, perhaps it didn't really matter, maybe all the guys heard were the same boisterous sounds and the rhythmic drawing beat of the drum when they were on the field playing. but it didn matter. if they looked up, they'd feel more encouraged, wouldn't they? it didn't help that mj had so many supporters AND a loud drum AND four white flags waving on the opposite side too, perhaps a few more on the other side. and so it began. they were determined now, so were the mjcians, of course, and our hearts were pounding wildly.

and then, we scored! hahahas. spirits were lifted up - there was hope! hahahas. we screamed and screamed and jumped about madly. everyone was cheering madly and playing harder now. somehow, mj scored their 2nd goal. i didn't really catch it, all i saw was that the goalkeeper somehow ran out in a bid to catch the ball i supposed but he missed and the ball got kicked in by someone. boo. i was so upset i started beating daryl who, unfortunately, happened to be beside me at the time. im so sorry. lol. somehow, the ball was supposedly kicked into the goalpost by a vjcian, but someone's hand pushed it out or sth. boo. so that goal was not counted. our hearts sank, literally. had to keep cheering, to spur the players on, according to the redshirt. hahas. and it was now into the last 4 minutes of the game. our hearts were literally in our mouths. and then, the magical moment came. we scored the equalizing goal. haha! and you could literally see relief and joy in all our faces, instantly. not long after, a 3rd goal was scored! now we were leading 3-2! whoohoo! we went mad with joy. we would win, i supposed. but didn't dare to really think, just in case. then the ball went into the other side of the field, where the vj goalpost was. really scary, we didn't really want a third ball to enter the vj goalpost. and somehow, the vj guys managed to manouvre the ball out of harm's way and there, it was a race. one vjcian in possession of the ball, and one mjcian right beside him, after him. the field in front of them was empty, everyone was involved in the tussle for the ball. there was only the goalkeeper and the goalpost waiting for them. a neck-to-neck race ensued. everyone was screaming and rooting for the vjcian to score the goal, it seemed so unbelievable that such a thing could happen. two mjcians were closing in on the vj guy. and then, [im not sure if there was some tussle or what] the goal was scored. oh joy joy joy. 4-2! 4-2, u know!

we went mad with joy. cheered and jumped and screamed and hugged. mr tan cried. it was an emotional high for everyone. im sure many prayed really hard. and many cheered really hard. and the players played very hard too.

sweet victory.

we are the champions.

(:

and congrats to mj for getting 2nd! (: they were really strong opponents.

rainbow visions.*.*....

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

from weariness of sin i turn
at last, o Lord, to Thee
my eyes and heart grown dim
from looking long on vanity.
i venture toward thy radience then,
compelled to come by grace
and in the pages of Thy word
behold Thy lovely face.
face of glory, turned upon me
i cannot but Thee adore
to behold Thee, o my Saviour
is to love Thee more and more.

i wonder how many of us still remember this song and the youth camp. youth camps are usually always the times when we recharge and fill ourselves with fervour again for God isnt it. june camp too, but im not going for it this time. again. may i walk with determination and not wander from the pathway.

-5 days since the death of my handphone pouch.

rainbow visions.*.*....